Dr. Phil, NBC and all Media Outlets.. I am about to Pimp My Uterus Out. Can you Help Me?

Dear Dr. Phil

After careful consideration and analysis of the coverage of the Suleman Octoplets, I have determined that I want to pimp my uterus out to best in-vitro fertilization clinic looking to make history.  When I first heard about Suleman, like many people I was infuriated with her decision to bring 8 children into this world (in addition to the 6 she already has) without means to take care of them. Thus, after seeing the large donations to support her hustle deep thought, I figure we aren’t so different. Actually we have a lot in common. Just like Suleman, I desire to have a family. My childhood left me with a void; a desire to raise my own large tribe family. I smile at the thought of receiving all the cash love and attention from the media each one of those little darlings I bring into this world.

Now I do have traits that might make me more likable to the world. Unlike her, I am employed, in a relationship, do not live with my parents. My boyfriend will be more than a sperm donor and is also willing to tell his story.  If offered,  I am more than willing to accept 24 hour care from any sucker kind person for my little darlings. I am willing to be on public assistance to put my wonderful children through college but with your help I hope that won’t be a choice I would have to make.

I figured 10 kids could be a start.  Before my own common sense used to overpower the thoughts common from my womb but the paint huffing has silenced my silly rational. With your help I can find a clinic who strive to take on the wonderful task of planting the little balls of sunshine in my loving womb.  Also I think I will need assistance in buyingto find a place for all my little sweet chickpeas.  I know those houses in California are overpriced and not a good enviroment for rasing children. I would suggest a home in Watertree, SC. I hear that has nice roomy places there, plenty of fresh air and space for all my future bundles of love.

In turn I will come on your shows, smile, act sane and at moments make totally insane comments sound rational.  I even have some ideas for other shows like, “Pimp Your Womb”, “Design on the Goverment’s Dime”,  and my favorite “Going Tribal: In-Vitro Style.”


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